I can use this in a lesson about Live Performance contracts, can’t I? I mean, it’s GOT EVERYTHING. Faustian pacts! Frogs who like acoustic duos! WOLFISH LAWYERS! Miss is very happy.
It would be hyperbole to say this is my favourite Paul McCartney song. It’s close, though.
Katie Harkin: Planet Gear
Harkers from Larkers does a great job of conveying the joy of gear here. She’s also able to - artfully and smartly - explain exactly what kind of wonk each pedal will produce. Even for someone like me, who can’t play. AND she makes a neat point about booth babes. Or FUCKING BOOTH BABES, as they should always be known.
The only sadface moment was when I went to play the video of Sky Larkin’s Loom at the bottom, and got this ad:
Oh you, internet.
Sarah Roby: Poet
My sister - Sarah Roby - has a collection of poetry called ‘This Afternoon & I’ which is being published by the marvellous Templar Poetry. The book is officially launched soon and to mark the occasion I have made her a modest website. Originally I wanted to put lots of auto-play Mick Hucknall, Enya and INXS on it. Maybe some Julia Fordham. But then Sarah reminded me it was not 1987 anymore and forbade me from incorporating so much as a ginger dreadlock. This is a shame, because I thought one of the famous sex romper’s flame-hued tendrils would make a good favicon. DENIED.
If you like poets or poems or poetry by people called Sarah Roby; or if you would like to have it proved that it is possible to write a poem about Michael Jackson and miscarriages - and for that poem to be strangely funny as well as terrifying - you should probably go visit Sarah Roby - who is my sister - on the internet. Her website has a link to buy her book which is not even dedicated to me. Pshaw.
GIF Preview: Jackson and his Computerband ‘G.I. Jane’ Music Video
It only took Jackson and his Computerband eight years to make the follow up to ‘Smash’.
I am impressed by the level of ‘going for it’ displayed by his comeback. Also I am wondering if the word ‘cock-scythe’ was used on any of the storyboards for his video.
It’s ten kinds of irksome when you are planning a lesson on salesmanship and how to pitch features, but you cannot show your students this. Because of course, it is far too sweary and students are not allowed to hear swears because they do not swear and I am a teacher so I don’t either.
If you are looking to play a complex game of insufferably ironic one-up on yourself; and you already own a copy of Pam Ayres seminal Some More Of Me Poetry; you could do a lot worse than invest in Molly Parkin’s Purple Passages. It is a book of blue verse or ‘bluerse’, if you will.
The thing I always remember about Molly Parkin is when she was on Desert Island Discs and she spoke about waking up in the gutter outside Smithfields market after all the men had had their way. So much of the conversation about The Woman Prabblem involves ideas about shame or behaving in a palatable fashion and it is always, always nice to come across (what Jessie J calls) FEMALES who do not give a fig.
ALSO will you just look at that hat.
There is a lot going on in this picture. You could argue - and perhaps you might be right to - that this shop is not very appealing, you notice the unscrubbed paintwork and you think; ha, ha, seedy. But given that a great deal of what makes people want to do sex is transgression, you could also argue that the proprietors are on the right track. Imagine the thrill as you step over the threshold! You would not want your Mum to know.
The other things I like about this photo are twofold. One, to the right of the picture, is the happy-go-lucky comic sans of the Viagra sandwich board. Not: ‘Viagra makes you do sex for ages’ or ‘Viagra works, if you cannot do sex’ but the simple and almost-homely: ‘Viagra is good for you!!!’ There are three exclamation marks, as if the writer were doling out a cheap, exasperated comeback. It has a ‘I mean, come on!!!’ about it that puts you in mind of common sense, things being omg, so obvious. You have to agree, too, that there is a certain neatness and symmetry in a shop selling solutions to human plumbing; being situated next door to a shop selling tinks and saps.
But the favourite second thing I noticed as we drove past, were the signs in the window. Look closely, because there can be little more inappropriate form of signage than one which has the air of a fridge-destined doodle, hastily scribbled before school. Nothing quite says ‘New Toys!’ like a sign in a childish hand.