Swell were one of the first bands I went to see. I was seventeen and went on the TRAIN to LONDON and it was at the BORDERLINE which I thought was WEIRD. Pretty sure I cried because I thought they were singing FOR ME.

Not much changes although on the plus side I have mastered peroxide since the days of buying box dye and wondering why my hair was orange. Progression is: spending so long in Sallys squealing at colour swatches that your card-carrying friend tells you it is ‘unprofessional’. Looking professional: over-rated.

What a jolly tin

What a jolly tin

"A Hardy Boys mystery directed by David Lynch"


The Soundtrack To My Minxing

If you are a devotee of the Becky Sharp school of minxery / have read every single one of Katie Price’s FIVE autobiographies / believe that the best way to display love is to poke the object of your affections with a stick (metaphorically, conversationally, during The Sex, by email, through the medium of quizzical looks, general pisstakery ETC) then this should be your soundtrack. It’s got the tippy toes a-creeping and the best bass brass.


Came over all proud listening to students talk about ATM Norwich and how effing good it is. Well done everybody at BBC Introducing, well done Miles Otto, well done Holeigh Melton, well done Jos Brunwin, well done Jodie Richardson.

Who is doing the jeans on Bake Off?



Very good

Isn’t it weird how behavioural advertising companies cannot get it together to have an opt-out function that ever, ackfing works?

I mean, usually they are so scrupulous at making sure I see the exact pair of pants I once looked at on M&S until I am sick of them (‘I am sick of these pants’); and after all, they work so tirelessly to make sure that my advertising experience is meaningful, valuable and tailored to my interests.


Searching Kickstarter Turns Me Tebbit-y

Case in point:

Although, thankfully:

Obviously this is enough to provoke a person to check Whois and see if c*ntstarter.com is free.

It isn’t :(

Write It Yourself You Flipping Naughty

The internet really, really wants me to have a bigger penis. And obviously it is very important that I clear out my spam folder right now - even though I am on a deadline. Because hey man, that shit is not going to clear out itself.