Oh my Christ so beautiful

There was some extraorder makeup at the Chanel show. I also intend to convert my shit-flops into chic-flops with ribbon, tomorrow.

This makes me happy

Priorities / Sequences

Natasha Lyonne! Natasha Lyyyyoonnnnnne. Perfectly imperfect in every way.

I just read this - a description of Buzzfeed - in a peach of a comments string.

Try saying these five words out loud because together, they are a thing of wonder - all those l’s and t’s and soft g’s. Mmn, lovely.

"the programme THE ISLAND WIHT BEAR GRYLLS is so SHITBRILLIANT i almost can’t get over it. you know if ever the world were in need of a programme that united the wimmin-watched tawdriness of big brother pop PSYCHOLOGY with the Bon Iver wank-cabin survivalist Werner Herzog DICKLESSNESS of blokeTV then it is now. 5 STARS

signed,

me + my man”

A farmyard of wine

Manchester’s School of Wine is a new and brilliant thing - they run unponcey, friendly wine tasting courses for people who like wine because a) wine is the tits and b) it gets you pissed.

Anyway if you like getting pissed and don’t want to come away from Sainsers with something that tastes of arse you should probably watch their videos or do one of their courses. They taught me that a £5.99 bottle of organic red Fabula made from Sangiovese grapes can be the gateway to an evening in which a transcendent sort of bliss will happen in your mouth. Especially if you also have access to a vulgar, outsize block of manchego cheese and some quince jelly. And some steak. And someone to snog in between quaffs.

Clever, good people.

This is good whether or not you have an obsessive appreciation for anything Kyle Dunnigan or Amy Schumer have been within 20 feet of and it is also good if you have gone to an INTERNATIONAL MAGIC CONVENTION in the past year and in addition it is good if you have had more than one boyfriend who can do amazing close up card tricks.

Magician boyfriends! I recommend them.

Because I Am Doing Loads of DIYing I Am Finding Myself Reading These Sorts of Comments On Pinterest-Linked ‘Lifestyle’ Blogs And Finding Myself In Agreement With The Second Comment

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It matters

I was in B&Q today because my new favourite thing is to swim up to consciousness with the aid of coffee and three doorstop DIY manuals from the 1970s which tell you how to do EVERYTHING - even the stuff my Dad says I am not allowed to do unless he is around (electrics! plumbings!). He may be right because fairly recently I did stick my fingers into a live vintage light fitting because I thought the connections were ‘dirty’ and even then, was genuinely surprised by how strong the electric shock was. Although: DON’T TELL ME THE DANGER IS NOT WHY THE MENS LIKE DIY.

Anyway I was in there, right, and quite apart from me knowing more than the staff about what stock they had (HELLO I KNOW YOU DO BLACKBOARD PAINT IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN A CAN SO IF YOU COULD JUST ADMIT YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS, INSTEAD OF TELLING ME I HAVE TO GET THE STUFF IN A CAN THAT WOULD BE GREAT) I spent a good hour idling about; listening to ancient Dan Savages and perusing big bits of wood that could potentially turn into…something.

Then I found this huge bolt and decided that I must create a project that involves it because LOOK HOW MASSIVE IT IS.


It was really heavy.