I have been reading about The Orchids, on this marvellous internet page. ‘Love Hit Me’ is on YouTube here and you can listen to it without having DFS sofas advertised at you, which is always nice. Obviously the one in the glasses is the best.
This morning, an internet asked me if I would ‘mind fucking a slag from Norwich?’. Which seems a strange way to put it, in a have-you-got-a-second, do-me-a-favour sort of way. I wrote this question out five times in a Word document, and I stared at it for a bit, because I was hoping it would start to look ridiculous, like the word ‘spaghetti’, if you look at it for too long. But mainly I just fell a bit hell-in-a-handcarty.
This evening, I read about a 1937 Roosevelt Sykes blues song called ‘Bread Pan (Just My Size)’. It goes:
She makes my bread rise
late hours in the night,
I put my bread right in her pan
and I shove it clean out of sight.
Needless to say, ‘bread pan’ is euphemistic, it being jive-slang for a lady’s darkplace. And then I thought, ‘We’ve always been disgusting, then,’ and felt a tiny bit better.
listening to the new bowie song made me think about the ballad in labyrinth when jareth is trying to wonk sarah’s brain so he can get off with her and that made me think about the dress jennifer connelly wore and that made me think about the one in enchanted and then I thought I would quickly check which was best so I went on google and decided come on no contest it is the one out of labyrinth
…is this photo, of Annie Goldman, of The Shirts, from 1979?
ALSO, how incredible (also NSFW, also ‘ow’) is THIS ONE, of Wendy O, out of The Plasmatics, from 1981?
AND did you know, Annie Goldman played Carrie, in Carrie: The Musical?
No, you did not.
I shoulda seen them, I shoulda seen them before.
In the course of nearly four years writing my DiS singles column, I have been sent my fair share of high concept pop music. This week, frinstance, there was not one but TWO singles that dealt in some way with the coming apocalypse. One involved a band pretending to be another (fictional) band, and one was a brilliantly strange, 24-minute narrative piece that took in the migration of humans to Mars, after Earth is uckfed.
Few high concept sevens have been as good as Randan Discotheque’s Daily Record: May 18th 1993 - which I really should have made Single of the Week at the time, I proper regret that now.
AND THIS IS WHY I am dead excited to see Randan Discotheque crop up again - Grandad’s Coffin above is MARVELLOUS, and bodes extremely well for their new album, which comes out on 4th February next year. They are that perfect, rare thing - a band with IDEAS who still know how to make original, complicated pop music that doesn’t compromise on larks.
Grandad’s Coffin is out on The Bonjour Branch, a label started by Craig out of Randan Discotheque, Dave Maclean out of Django Django and Andy Wake from The Phantom Band. Such pedigree! I am excited.
Hey British Newspapers
When you recycle three-day-old Gawker stories, it makes me you look dim. It also gives me the impression that you believe there is an ‘American Internet’ only you are privy to.
GUESS WHAT, YOU READ IT ON GAWKER
GUESS WHAT, I READ IT ON GAWKER TOO
GUESS WHAT, THE PEASANTS HAVE ACCESS TO THE WHOLE OF THE INTERNET
IT’S ALMOST AS IF THE INTERNET IS LIVE OR SOMETHING
Honestly, I give up.