Notorious sex warehouse Hobbycraft is a conflicting sort of place at the best of times; on the one hand: everything you could possibly ever want if you like to make, draw or paint stuff. On the other: quite a lot of what it calls ‘craft’ is more like ‘assembling’, WHICH IS WRONG. On the other: personal obsession with Dawn Bibby / the sex lives of anyone who phones into QVC Craft Hour. On the other: cutesification of all home-made art (especially anything made by women), the gingham pound, and whether it is helping The Woman Problem. On the other: run out of hands.
ANYWAY. 
Essentially whenever I am in Hobbycraft I am confused, turned on** and want to shout UNCTFLAPS as loudly as possible. It was no different on Sunday. Then I saw the above item and realised the end of days is here and it is very, very real. I don’t know who would buy this for themselves but I can tell you there were not many left on the shelf so some poor cow is getting one for Christmas.
All I have learned from this is that crafters need to be very careful what they wish for, that they should not call themselves crafters or use craft as a verb, and that the feminists might as well give up and go home. Also, it’s a fucking horrible sewing box.

** No one is ever turned on in Hobbycraft.

Notorious sex warehouse Hobbycraft is a conflicting sort of place at the best of times; on the one hand: everything you could possibly ever want if you like to make, draw or paint stuff. On the other: quite a lot of what it calls ‘craft’ is more like ‘assembling’, WHICH IS WRONG. On the other: personal obsession with Dawn Bibby / the sex lives of anyone who phones into QVC Craft Hour. On the other: cutesification of all home-made art (especially anything made by women), the gingham pound, and whether it is helping The Woman Problem. On the other: run out of hands.

ANYWAY. 

Essentially whenever I am in Hobbycraft I am confused, turned on** and want to shout UNCTFLAPS as loudly as possible. It was no different on Sunday. Then I saw the above item and realised the end of days is here and it is very, very real. I don’t know who would buy this for themselves but I can tell you there were not many left on the shelf so some poor cow is getting one for Christmas.

All I have learned from this is that crafters need to be very careful what they wish for, that they should not call themselves crafters or use craft as a verb, and that the feminists might as well give up and go home. Also, it’s a fucking horrible sewing box.



** No one is ever turned on in Hobbycraft.

Notes

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