This is why journalism is so ruddy annoying.
1. ‘feisty, eccentric’ - this is but a whisker away away from calling these five women ‘nutty tarts’*. Did the sub-editor done it? Awful, awful, awful. JUST BLOODY AWFUL.
2. These women have not ‘just arrived’ - Kreayshawn’s single was released in June last year, when she had a Guardian Guide cover feature. Dominique Young Unique has been kicking about for donkeys - albeit with little coverage, presumably because some div was waiting for another 4 girls with almost nothing in common (other than the fact that they are Girls! Who make music!) so they could draw a circle around all five and call it a thing. I write about bedwetter indie one day a week, and even I know who she is.
It would be nice if there was less of this sort of nonsense. In 2008/9 it happened with electro-pop, which was when I was first asked if I wanted to talk to a female pop star about ‘what it’s like being a woman in the music industry’. If I had a pound in 2009 for every time I was told about VV Brown collecting vintage Korgs as if they were bloody nazi plates, I would be doing my big shop in Sainsers at least by now. Point is, you wouldn’t write a feature about five men who all happen to play an electric guitar. ‘Women being able to play instruments and therefore owning a few’ is not a flipping trend.
I don’t even think journalists are to blame, because they know that in order to score a commission, you need to convince the editor that you have a NU FENOMINOM on your hands. And I’ve pitched this sort of rubbish myself. But it’s tiresome. So in 2012 I would quite like us to:
STOP DRAWING CIRCLES AROUND THINGS AND CALLING THEM THINGS
Or, to put it another way:
Next week, in TEH MEDIA:
1. Women Who Have Tits
2. Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor
3. Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor And Don’t Wear Mascara
4. Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor And Don’t Wear Mascara Who Had Sex Once And Quite Liked It
5. Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor And Don’t Wear Mascara Who Had Sex Once And Quite Liked It Who Once Shared A Cup Of Tea With Jeff Buckley
6. Really, Really Young Women Who Have Tits And Can Play B Minor And Don’t Wear Mascara Who Had Sex Once And Quite Liked It Who Once Shared A Cup Of Tea With Jeff Buckley Although Let’s Face It, He Probably Taught Them How To Play B Minor
I know this is the way the world works and it is emphatically not Paul Lester’s fault that features journalism works in this way. But the unmodern nature of modern times occasionally strikes you as rather bizarre.
* [‘Nutty tarts’ should be credited to Eleanor Morgan, who once said it in the general direction of my face. It still amuses me greatly.]
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