One thing I fundamentally do not get about Twitter is when normal, rational human beings get all eggy about who is, or is not, following them. I no get it, I no get all the hissy and the WHY, I no get signing up for unfollowing digests or the antsy checking. I would get it if it was about having a pash on someone and wanting them to follow you, because if they did follow you it would definitely mean they fancied you back and you are going to get married.  And I am not talking about businesses or organisations who need followers to promote they bullcrap.

Surely it is simply the case that one of the following things is happening:

1. you are talking about stuff they already know

2. they hear about the stuff you talk about on other social networks / in ‘the world’

3. what they think Twitter Is For is different to what you think Twitter Is For

4. they don’t like exactly the same stuff as what you like

5. they are not the same as what you are

6. no man is an island

7. the times when you only see one set of footprints, is when I carried you [‘the LORD’]

Mostly, though, and nearly always, it’s 3. In which case, you know, IT’S A FREE WORLD MAN, so DON’T MAKE ME PLAY BY YOUR RULES. In my experience, it is almost never because:

7837. they hate you

But even if it is, honestly, who cares? Sing the libretto of my totally real, totally Italian opera. It is called Come I Dare Patootie Di Un Topo. Which is smartarse for ‘Like I Give A Rat’s Patootie’ (if you do not speak foreign). You can sing it to any tune you like! FREE SWIM.

If one person out of 6,775,235,700 humans on our planet does not want to follow you on Twitter it is not the internet equivalent of them tripping you up in the Home Ec. corridor in front of Mark Weston from Form 3b. IT DOESN’T MATTER.

Related: don’t ask people to tit for you when it is obvious that the whole point of Twitter is that it is a MERITOCRACY. Dude, let The People tit what they want. Even if it is an observation along the lines of OH MY DOG THE DAILY MAIL ARE EVIL HOLY SHIT (WHO KNEW EDITION).

Jun

13

2011

7 notes

Notes

  1. julianne-santos reblogged this from wendyroby
  2. wonderfulrestaurant reblogged this from wendyroby
  3. flavorcountry reblogged this from wendyroby and added:
    My follower count...oscillating at around 1000,...fascinates...
  4. wendyroby posted this
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